One of the most common concerns we hear from families relates to their child's social skills and relationships with their peers - "Why isn’t my child playing with the other children? Should I be worried that they seem to prefer playing on their own?"
For parents, it’s natural to want to see your child connect with other children and long daycare settings support the development of these skills. However it’s important to understand that children develop social skills in stages, and solo or parallel play is not a sign that your child is failing to develop normal social skills - it's one stage of many in the development of social skills as children grow.
Stages of development
Children don’t leap from playing alone to having best friends overnight. Instead, they move gradually through these stages, at their own pace. For example, toddlers (ages 1-2) are more likely to engage in parallel play, where they play alongside but not directly with peers. This is not a red flag—it’s developmentally appropriate.
How we support the development of social skills
The developmental nature of social skill development doesn't mean that we just sit back and relax!
Abby Essa at Futuro Austral comments that "Social confidence is a key part of a child’s development, and we can help children build it by offering consistent, intentional opportunities to engage with others in a way that feels safe and successful." There are a range of ways that Educators (and families at home) can support the progression of children through the stages of play.
- Emotional safety and connection first - Educators across all our centres agree that the foundation of social confidence is feeling safe. Billie-Ann Yearsley at Futuro Austral shares, "Establishing a strong bond with the children first helps them feel confident expressing themselves through play. From there, they start to connect with others." Joanne Lane (also at Futuro Austral) echoes this, highlighting the value of name songs and shared group experiences: "We use welcoming songs with names, shared stories about families or pets, and transitions that promote peer support. These help create a sense of belonging."
- Creating spaces for connection - Courtney Azzopardi at Futuro Gledswood Hills sets up environments that promote peer interactions: "We create cosy reading corners, small-group table activities and dress-up areas where kids can explore together. We also acknowledge when they share or take turns: 'That was very nice sharing!'"
- Supporting shy or hesitant children - Not every child rushes into group play. Sharmin Zaman at Futuro Gledswood Hills notes, "Some children in our group are introverted. I engage the more cooperative children to gently invite others in. I also give children advance notice before starting new activities, so they know what to expect.
- Small groups - Ayse Aktas and Bipana Chapagain at Futuro Bardia emphasise the importance of small group experiences. "Sometimes, smaller groups are less intimidating and help children open up," Ayse explains.
- Starting with interests - For children who are unsure how to make friends, shared interests can be the bridge. Allysha Grattan from Futuro Austral says, "If a child loves dinosaurs, we use that to help them connect with others who love dinosaurs too. Activities with a goal, like building a tower together, naturally foster collaboration".
- Role modelling and guiding language - Kaitlyn Owen at Futuro Gledswood Hills says that she engages children in the 2-3 year old age group by modelling language during small group play. "For example, I might say, 'Ruby, can you pass Alaska the book?' or 'What is John making with his play dough?'" she explains. These gentle prompts help children learn how to engage with peers and start to build confidence in doing so.
- Encouraging helpfulness and empathy - Jaymie Swarzencki at Futuro Gledswood Hills gives children opportunities to help each other throughout the day: "Sometimes, a child will hand out lunch bowls to friends, or remind a peer to get their water bottle. We also role model how to share and build together." These moments help children feel useful and valued while developing prosocial behaviours.
- Supporting families through education - Laura Straub from Futuro Austral adds, "We can support families by helping them understand the developmental stages of play. When parents know what is typical, it can ease anxiety and allow us to work together on strategies."
The journey
The journey to confident peer interaction is just that - a journey. Our team is here to guide, support and celebrate each small step.
If you ever have questions about your child’s social development, please reach out to your child’s Room Leader or Centre Manager. We are here to support you on this important part of your child's early years learning journey.
* Image credit: Jason Grant on Unsplash